As I sit looking out at the spring rains buffeting my window I find myself reflecting on change. I am about to embark on a new, exciting and scary time of my life, as I launch my mediation practice and leave the comfort of the firm and the people I have loved and called my family for 14 years. The idea of stepping out into the wild and unpredictable weather of being truly self employed and 100% self reliant is enough to make me want to crawl under my desk. But I don’t. Because as scary and humbling as change can be, to not grow and to remain static feels much more terrifying.
And so I know I will step out there, rain or shine, and take the first steps on my own adventure. This is The Journey, not just mine, but the journeys of so many, in the deeply moving and powerful words of poet Mary Oliver:
The Journey
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
he only life you could save.
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
These powerful words are easily applied in the mediation context. Parties to a dispute come to a mediation nervous, sometimes terrified, but determined to find a way to come to resolution. The process begins and it is uncertain – what will be hurled from one side of the table to another? Can each party withstand the strength of argument of the other side, can they hold their own and stay true to what brought them there in the first place – the desire, sometimes the need, to say their piece and find closure. There will be strong forces blowing against each party – like the wind in in Mary Oliver’s poem, prying with its stiff fingers. But in mediation we must learn to bend, and not break, to move forward bravely, acutely aware of the goal of clarity, of resolution, of breaking free of what binds us. If we are truly present, and watch and listen, we can learn and do so much.
I am determined as I begin my journey to be true to what speaks to my own heart. Compassion, connection, principle. I look forward to walking this walk many, many times, not alone, but in the company of those who truly seek a new beginning. And all the while, I will hold in my heart the lessons and love of those who have touched my life over these last many years, all with tremendous gratitude.